Start with flattery, maintain eye contact and never lie: how to win people over

The secrets of highly persuasive people, from a hostage negotiator to a TV producer

Some people are just charmers. They can sweet-talk an otherwise immovable doorman, cajole asmall child into picking uptheir toys without protest, and smile their way to a freebie. But being ablagger isn't the preserve of aselect few loudmouths and self-aggrandising entrepreneurs; highly persuasive people walk among us. Iknow, Imarried one.

Lost the receipt? No matter; my nice, softly spokenhusband somehow gets the item returned. Acomplimentary upgrade to business class? It has been known. He's particularly astute atgetting let off the hook - having a missed appointment fee waived, say. There was even the incident where he smashed a bus window (an accident, he maintains) and the bus company sent him a letter to apologise.