Monopoly: the Movie? Pop culture has become a series of lukewarm adverts – and it’s all so very dull | Dan Hancox

From films about Play-Doh and Barbie to the Shrek experience', consumer capitalism has run out of ideas

When it was announced last week that Margot Robbie will follow up the success of Barbie with a film based on Monopoly, my heart sank, did not pass go, and did not collect 200. Robbie's production company will partner with Hasbro, just as the Barbie film was an initiative from rival toy company Mattel. Barbie was criticised for being little more than a 114-minute toy ad, but it did so well at the box office - buoyed, significantly, by a $150m marketing budget, which was larger than that spent on making the film - that a glut of similar titles are planned: a Barney film produced by Daniel Kaluuya, a Polly Pocket film written and directed by Lena Dunham, and a film based on the card game Uno. Robbie is also making a film version of The Sims video game, while Hasbro has licensed a Play-Doh feature film, a cinematic adaptation of an inert substance.

Where does it end? Why not make Alpro vegan yoghurt into a series of detective novels? Why not write an opera about the Adidas Predator football boot? Or, for that matter, why not imagineer" your way to full 360, helicopter-vision integrated brand synergy and make a football boot inspired by Wagner's Ring cycle, or a Raymond Chandler-themed yoghurt? It is almost as if the gatekeepers of popular culture have completely run out of ideas. All that remains is a kind of infinite consumer ceilidh, where brands line up and take it in turns to partner with one other for 15 minutes of coverage and social media consternation. We're told that capitalism is all about innovation, disruption and the unbridled individual genius of the human mind. So why do I now turn a corner in London's West End and half expect to see a billboard for Marmite: The Musical, next to a pop-up shop selling Nespresso x Nike limited edition streetwear?

Dan Hancox is a freelance writer, focusing on music, politics, cities and culture