If a chronic health condition is making you feel guilty for not being ‘perfect’, try some self-compassion | Gaynor Parkin and Amanda Wallis

Ask yourself how you would respond if your best friend were in the same situation. You wouldn't think any worse of her, would you?

• The modern mind is a column where experts discuss mental health issues they are seeing in their work

I was so looking forward to the night out and celebrating with my friends. The restaurant reassured me over and over the food was gluten free, and then came back to say the noodles weren't after I'd already eaten some! I was really freaked out; I didn't want the night to be ruined by feeling unwell."

Mary* is living with coeliac disease and type 1 diabetes. Her life feels as though it's dominated by medical appointments; she needs to track and monitor her energy and glucose levels constantly, while also maintaining a strict gluten-free diet. This heightened vigilance about her health seeps into other corners of her life too. She rarely feels in sync with family and friends because her energy levels don't match theirs, her diet means she can't eat the same food, and she often feels let down by a body that doesn't quite work" the way everyone else's seems to.

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