I have lifelong anorexia. MDMA and mushrooms showed me remission is possible

The formidable disease affects every corner of my life. Working with these medicines hasn't been a cure-all - but it's yielded deep lessons

• Americans have demonized drugs for decades. Now we're doing them every day

The first time I took mushrooms, I was terrified. I was afraid I'd taken too much and that I was going to die. But they blew me away. I felt like the mushroom gods were taking me through an underground tunnel. As the trip went on, I emerged into a room that I understood to be the mushroom gods' chapel - a breathtakingly beautiful geometric structure shimmering in jeweled colors. It was transformative. It taught me that sometimes you need to walk through the fear to find the joy on the other side.

Now, once every few months (sometimes more often), I wake up, eat a quiet breakfast, take a walk in the park, then lie down in bed, strap on an eye mask and take a dose of psilocybin mushrooms (or, less frequently, MDMA or ketamine). Of all the things I've tried in my life, this has had the biggest impact on combating my anorexia.