Dating apps took over my life – so I ditched them and learned to live in the moment | Anya Ryan

I used to remove myself from experiences in favour of chasing matches. Now I'm fulfilled by the company of real people

Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. For a while I was swiping so much I was barely thinking. Dating apps had hijacked my fingers, brain and evenings. I'd swipe left, mindlessly and without even looking, under the table at group dinners or during TV ad breaks. I'd fanatically check my new matches at the end of each day. This is modern dating," I'd tell myself. It's a job. I have to keep on going. This is the key to my happy ending."

For months, this was my normality. But unsurprisingly, the lifelong romance I was looking for never materialised. As I sat on my sofa on yet another Sunday night ready to swipe until I ran out of steam, I decided I'd finally had enough. Even if my screen was flooded with likes or messages, my forays into dating app culture had rarely ended with in-person dates. I'd spend hours agonising over a single response - I needed to be funny, cool and captivating but not give too much away. But why was I so desperate to impress a distant stranger trapped behind a screen? What was I doing all the monotonous swiping for? I decided I needed to go cold turkey and figure out why I had been sucked in so completely.

Anya Ryan is a freelance journalist