How should York deal with unruly tourists? I have a few suggestions for my hometown | Emma Beddington

It's all very well sticking up posters calling for respect, not regrets', but what we really need is to tap the power of the baked potato

Go steady, we've got enough history," reads one of York's new purple street signs. Respect your bar staff and taxi drivers, give them gratitude not attitude," says another, while a third says: Hold it! It's not a place to pee."

This is the latest initiative to try to tame our city centre. The signs follow a guide for stags and hens", a hospitality code of conduct" (no admittance for offensive inflatables", or people we believe to be drunk" which, hmm) and cards for buskers to try to prevent people nicking their microphones.