Remember, remember, the fifth of November, when a bad guy tried to blow up a political system | Marina Hyde

A dastardly plot is afoot to burn it all down by any means necessary. Sound familiar?

Well ... we finally got to 5 November. Of course, you know the story. Once upon a time, there was a bad guy who wanted to set fire to a country's political system. Metaphorically, but also literally. I mean, he wasn't subtle, this guy. This Guy, I should say, because his name was Guy Fawkes. Why - who did you think I was talking about?

Because time's a great healer, Britons now celebrate the thwarting of this truly awful Guy's insurrection with fireworks, fires and organised effigy-burning. But the good version of those things - not the kind we do when we go out of a football tournament in the later stages. We're still working on teasing out the family fun in those particular moments.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist