Jake Paul beats Mike Tyson in manufactured mismatch as Father Time comes calling

• Paul wins unanimous decision by two scores of 79-73 and a 80-72
• Former world champ unable to land telling blows on YouTuber

Jake Paul, a 27-year-old social media huckster, beat a 58-year-old man with a long history of health problems, both physically and mentally, in a boxing ring late on Friday night. The fact that Mike Tyson was defeated so comprehensively on points was meant to give Paul a semblance of authenticity in the unforgiving business of boxing. But it didn't mean much in the end.

Tyson is the former world champion who, in the mid-to-late 1980s, spread awe and terror as he tore through the heavyweight ranks. But, in the dog days of 2024, Tyson was trying to overcome years of abuse, after far too many drugs and far too much drinking, as well as recent troubling issues with a bleeding stomach ulcer and acute sciatica. Two years ago Tyson was in such pain that he had to be pushed around in a wheelchair and, this May, he threw up so much blood on a flight that his manufactured scrap with Paul had to be postponed for six months. He now looks like he also has a bad right knee.