Soon we will know if my father is alive. Even then, we cannot rest until all Israeli hostages are returned | Sharone Lifschitz

Every day families like mine try to be brave, try not to despair - and pray that the fragile Israel-Hamas ceasefire holds

• Sharone Lifschitz is a London based film-maker and academic, originally from kibbutz Nir Oz, whose parents were taken hostage on 7 October

My father, Oded Lifshitz, was taken hostage on 7 October 2023. My mother was taken hostage, too, but was released two weeks later. But my father has been held in Gaza ever since. Our family friend and neighbour Chana Katzir returned from Gaza 48 days later in the first hostage deal and told us she was with him there and that he had survived his kidnapping, despite being shot. Chana died recently and is now buried between her husband, murdered on 7 October, and her son, also a hostage, whose body was recovered from Gaza in April. The Israel Defense Forces believe he was murdered by Palestinian Islamic Jihad in mid-January.

Beyond Chana's account, we have no further news about my father. Like many other hostage families, we don't know if he is dead or alive. We may find out this weekend. Hamas is set to release a list on Saturday of who in the first stage of the deal is still alive and who isn't. We have infinite questions about what our loved ones have endured in more than 470 days of captivity, but may soon face the most binary of answers. We are bracing ourselves. I wish I knew how to prepare for that, knew what was the right thing to do. What to say to all those hoping and praying with us.

Sharone Lifschitz is a London based film-maker and academic, originally from kibbutz Nir Oz, whose parents were taken hostage on 7 October

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