If Starmer is willing to help Trump host a lucrative golf tournament, will he caddy for him too? | Marina Hyde

The prime minister is apparently pursuing ways to land the 2028 Open for the president. With friends like that, POTUS surely won't be carrying his own clubs

At what point does realpolitik tip over into nakedly facilitating conflict of interest/corruption? I only ask in the strictest hypothetical terms after reading that Keir Starmer's government has been exploring whether golf bosses could host the 2028 Open championship at Donald Trump's Turnberry resort in Ayrshire. Sorry, but no. It's almost as if the prime minister is compiling material for a seminal 2025 business manual. Call it The Art of the Kneel. Perhaps Starmer could ask the Treasury to explore" buying a load of Trump meme coins.

According to reports, Donald Trump has frequently mentioned in his phone calls with the prime minister that he'd prefer it if the Open returned to Turnberry. As so often with this particular caller, the reply to this should simply be, And I'd prefer to be talking to Mickey Mouse, but we're all making compromises." Failing that, just go with: God, you always want MORE, don't you? Scotland invented the great game of golf. Have you said thank you ONCE?" Unfortunately, the actual reply seems to have been: Capital idea, Mr President! How can we make that happen?"

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist