Dear heads of state: Donald Trump won’t love you back. He may be the worst boyfriend the world has ever seen | Marina Hyde

The frantic attempts to decode his behaviour reminds me of self-help relationship babble in the 1990s. Then, as now - it's not you, it's him

Until it finally opens, there remains much speculation over precisely which artefacts will occupy Donald Trump's eventual presidential library. My current view is that you could do a lot worse than fill it with all the volumes of text that have been written in the cause of understanding" him. These increasingly read like the most futile female-targeted self-help books of the 1990s. You Have to Understand He is Very Transactional. Take Him Seriously But Not Literally. Guys, please - no more. We all urgently need rescuing from the Mind, Body & Statecraft section of the bookshop.

As I say, so many gazillions of words have been expended on this cause that Trump reminds me a lot of the men of the 1990s - indeed, he was one. Back then, he had emerged from a decade of valiantly avoiding contracting STIs in 1980s Manhattan - a battle he would later describe as my personal Vietnam". For much of the 1990s, the rest of mankind - certainly womankind - felt that personal victories of their own must be just around the corner. It definitely helped that the economy was booming and history had ended. But it was a time when people believed you could change everything through self-control/hard work/the right roadmap. In fact, speaking of roads, one of the biggest nonfiction titles of the 90s in the US was M Scott Peck's The Road Less Travelled, a hymn to personal growth that was treated by many as the key to all mythologies.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist