Epic Rolls Out Vibe-Coded Launcher Update & It’s Absolute Trash

Alright, I don't quite know what to make of what Epic Games is doing with this AI-driven nonsense, but it's not great. I've spent a bit of time trying to argue that new AI technology has some place in this industry, but Epic and its leadership appears to be trying to personify every last thing the never-AI-ers state they're worried about. First it was Tim Sweeney trying to argue that Steam's AI disclosures are irresponsible, which is so obviously stupid that it hardly needs a retort. Then, more recently, Epic's leadership messaged to its own internal developers that use of AI is not a potential useful option, but is compulsory and mandated. It seems Epic wants to be the corporate goon the naysayers have said to watch out for. And with the company pulling this kind of shit, it gets harder and harder to argue with them.

But now, in a simply bizarre scenario, Epic has decided to boast about how awesome its new vibe-coded storefront launcher is, while anyone using it can see that it's pure hot garbage.

Programming is hard," the company wrote in its official announcement post for a newly released preview version of a revamped launcher for the store. So, instead of doing that, we vibe coded a new Epic Games Launcher that's way faster and more responsive than the current one, and has a new look. This first release is light on features. Think of it as a speedboat and not a yacht! Though it does have advanced digital commerce technology such as a shopping cart."

We vibe coded the Epic Games Launcher to be faster than the other guy," the Epic X account posted. Don't believe us? Test it out for yourself in Preview." It was accompanied by a graphic showing that the genAI storefront performed faster on certain responsiveness benchmarks than Valve's competitor. This isn't just a stunt or a flex for AI boosters on Elon Musk's social media platform, though. The adults at Epic aren't joking about wanting to make its storefront more appealing.

Indeed, while some of the messaging about the new launcher was obviously tongue in cheek, Epic didn't release this new launcher as a joke. Which is incredible, given just how much of the internet is laughing at them over it anyway.

The problems with the launcher are legion and all over the place. Graphical glitches in the launcher sometimes make it look like the end of a solitaire game in Windows 95. In other instances, trying to use the launcher to change game settings opened up an entirely unrelated application.

Other reactions on the wider internet span the range of lmfao" and hahahaha" to please don't tie any of your actual payment or credit card information to whatever this giant piece of shit is." If all of this was meant to poke Valve's Steam storefront in the eye, it backfired spectacularly.

Particularly, as others have pointed out, since Epic still relies on Valve to do other things it can't seem to do:

Epic also announced that it's bringing Fortnite to Linux via Proton, a compatibility layer made by, surprise, Valve. Bold of them to sh*t on Valve/Steam, and then literally use Proton internally for Windows compat on Linux...," one VR modder wrote on X. This launcher is so fucking vibeslopped its funny, but holy crap, these people are hilarious." A Twitch streamer wrote in the comments beneath Epic's announcement, Are you seriously incapable of embarrassment? I'm not leaving Steam for this trash."

If you think AI has a place in the industry, this is all the ammunition the other side of the argument needs, honestly. It might as well be gift-wrapped to the never-AI crowd. If you are in that never-AI crowd, it seems Epic is trying to make all of your Christmases come at once.

This sucks. That Epic is trying to boast over this level of suck is perplexing.