Renault Kadjar: ‘A very French sort of SUV’ – car review

'In a traffic snarl-up, I noticed I didn't look as catastrophically grumpy as everyone else'

I have a delusion that I'm somehow immune to plushness, that I can see through fancy stitching and embossed lettering and leather finish, and intuit my way, monastically, to the true value of the thing beneath. It is total manure. I love a panoramic sunroof an unreasonable amount, considering the amount of time, as a responsible driver, I spend gazing through it. I had the Renault Kadjar in its range-topping Signature Nav version. They must have seen me coming.

High off the road and handsome, it is a very French sort of SUV: much more, "Join us - we're on a safety-first journey to a ski lodge" than the Scando-German, "Check out my girth - in a clash with an elk, I'd definitely win" (let alone the Anglo-Saxon, "By the glint of my bull bars, you can see I'd very easily be adapted to suit a paranoid yet thrifty dictator").