On the road: Audi RS3 Sportback – car review

The stop-start engine wakes up, roars and goes back to sleep, like a narcoleptic lion

The Audi RS"3 Sportback starts to rev like a thousand wild animals before you've engaged the engine, a highly engineered fakery, like piping the synthesised smell of bread through a supermarket. It takes mettle not to be embarrassed, especially sitting in stationary traffic with a stop-start engine waking up, roaring and going back to sleep, like a narcoleptic lion.

Is it worth it for the tremendous acceleration? For the fact that, if you find yourself two lanes away from your exit on the M1 with 15 seconds to go, you can scare everyone, make your front-seat passenger swallow his entire sandwich in one go, and make it, easily, with seven seconds to spare? For the fact that the four-wheel drive and magnificent horsepower sometimes make you feel as though you're in control not just of your own car, but of everybody else's, and indeed, the entire road? It's not necessary, is it, to make you sound like a petrolhead? Everyone can see you're a petrolhead - you're in a sporty Audi.