Schlock Mercenary: December 29, 2015

Note: If you're having trouble saying Yaeyoefui, you're not alone. That poor "f" is outnumbered eight-to-one by vowels, or sometime-vowels. If you smear those bully vowels together, the librarian's name becomes "Ya-yo-eff-wee." This smear is three syllables short of being completely correct, but it's as close as most meat-tongues are going to get.

Addendum to Note: With hyphenation added for help with the syllabification, here is how that most revered and ancient tome, the Oxford English Dictionary, would have encoded Yaeyoefui's name as follows:

EjEE-E-iE-ETME-EEf-uE-iE

This string of characters isn't useful for readers accustomed to an alphabet with a couple dozen letters. Speakers of Galstandard Peroxide, whose language encodes tone and gesture along with an orchestral panoply of meat noises, scowl at the OED for pandering to the lowest common denominator.