My boyfriend is addicted to porn but doesn’t want sex

A woman thinks her partner's online activities are preventing him from being intimate in real life. Mariella Frostrup says he needs to realise sex isn't a spectator sport

The dilemma My boyfriend has something of a sex addiction. He follows porn accounts on Instagram and Twitter; he has it on his phone and searches for it on nights I'm not about. It's never bothered me, because I also have an interest in it, but not to that extent.

A while ago he started texting another girl inappropriately. When I caught him, he said he didn't mean anything by it, that it was just words. Afterwards we weren't as intimate, but his addiction calmed dramatically.