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by Shep McAllister on Kinja Deals, shared by Tercius from Deadspin > Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise on (#45FPH)

Quick thought experiment: A bird has pooped on you outside a restaurant, and a kind bystander has offered you a paper napkin to clean yourself off. Do you use the napkin and go about your day, or do you go inside and wash off with running water in the bathroom?