Bastiat's Candlemakers' Petition, Updated

Mr. President, We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low price. This rival, which is none other than the Sun. We ask you to pass a law requiring the closing of all openings through which the light of the sun is wont to enter houses.