How I curbed my helicopter parenting – and let my daughter jump through fire

A family festival, where children learn courageous feats, helped me break my over-protective habits

One Saturday this summer I stood in a field and held my breath as I waited for my nine-year-old daughter Sofya to jump through a ring of fire. Despite her enthusiasm, the hours of practice she'd had with expert adults and the many fire marshals on duty, I could see she was in conflict: afraid of the flames and equally scared of not pushing herself through that fear into the unknown.

As she watched her friends take their turns - tensing her body as they ran; wincing as they jumped; grinning and clapping when they were safely on the other side - I faced my own internal struggle. I was torn between scooping her up to a safe place away from all this heat and pressure, and standing back, trusting her and letting her take the risk. It felt like a rite of passage for us both.