Stephen Barclay, a pointless secretary for a pointless Brexit | John Crace

Everything about Westminster's invisible man is designed with forgettability in mind

If Stephen Barclay didn't exist, would anyone notice his absence? He is Westminster's very own invisible man. Someone so forgettable that not even his own reflection recognises him. A man who slips in and out of rooms without leaving a trace. No one can even be quite sure if he has human form or if he is just some shape-shifting ectoplasm.

Everything about him has been designed with forgettability in mind. His voice is liquid valium. Calming to the point of comatose, each word more meaningless than the one before. By the end of a sentence you are far worse informed than if he had said nothing. His ideal job would be a doctor specialising in telling patients that their cancer was now terminal. Because everyone would have either nodded off or died before they had managed to absorb the news.