Happy 99th birthday to MAD cartoonist Al Jaffee, and scans of my snappy answers I wrote as a kid

The great Al Jaffee turned 99 last week. He's been contributing to MAD for 64 years and is famous for his hidden-image-within-an-image MAD Fold-Ins on the inside back cover of the magazine. Happy belated birthday, Al! (Back in 2011, when Al was just a kid, Ruben Bolling and I interviewed him on my podcast, Gweek.)

A couple of weeks ago I visited my parents and found a bunch of my old books and comic books in the attic. I found my copy of MAD's Al Jaffee Spews Out Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions, which I bought when I was 10 or 11 years old. I was surprised to see that I had filled in some snappy answers of my own to stupid questions.

"No, it's last year's hard-t0-melt snow."

"No, I'm inspecting the quality of my pillow."

[My 11-year-old self drew a blank for this one.]

"No, but are you interested in buying some lizard coffins?"

What are your snappy answers to these stupid questions?