Lockdown offers no escape from the tyranny of socialising | Joel Golby

As the British people fire up their laptops for virtual hangouts, some obvious personality types have already emerged

It's hard to tell what day of the lockdown we're on, but it's clear that society is in a fascinating moment right now, due to the torrent of Houseparty invites, Zoom notifications and people calling without warning on FaceTime. It's interesting that millennials - a generation so weaned on text-based communication that about 60% of them have a full panic attack every time they have to phone in a takeaway - have so fully embraced face-to-face video platforms, the "kissing with your eyes open" of communicative mediums, but here we are. The reality is that, between virtual pub quizzes and digital group hangouts, my social calendar is now busier than it was before The Fall of Society, and I don't actually like it. I want more time to myself.

Early Zoom adopters are offering kitchen cook-alongs. I'm still trying to work out whether to wear trousers on camera