Article 52R05 Opening a Rusty Can of Spider-Man Pasta From 1995

Opening a Rusty Can of Spider-Man Pasta From 1995

by
Lori Dorn
from Laughing Squid on (#52R05)
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A post shared by Matt from Dinosaur Dracula (@dinosaurdracula) on Apr 16, 2020 at 5:35pm PDT

Matt from the nostalgic site Dinosaur Dracula very bravely opened a rusty can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995 just to find out what was inside. He shared what he found over a series of revealing Twitter posts. This rather disconcerting experiment revealed that canned food does indeed have an expiry date.

Today I opened a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995. Slide to see the results" if you dare. "I'm sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability.

Opening a wildly corroded can of Spider-Man Pasta from 1995: a thread. (1/5) pic.twitter.com/DW7w7ALMO4

- Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020

I put the can opener to work, unsettled by the rust, but emboldened by the lack of noxious fumes. I turn the knob and wince, unable to rule out the possibility that the contents have mutated into something alive & malevolent. (2/5) pic.twitter.com/IBmJXBWZI2

- Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020

They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, but there's nothing funny about 15 ounces of Spider-Man Pasta reduced to a rotted 3-ounce chunk. Recalling the fate of Jordy Verrill in Creepshow, I'm thankful for my rubber gloves. (3/5) pic.twitter.com/W5WqQ7wEHs

- Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020

I carefully remove the mass, which looks like a cross between Big Thunder Mountain and one of those Geonosian hives from Attack of the Clones. (4/5) pic.twitter.com/PIchW9mdMy

- Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020

I think I notice something, but consult the label on the can to be sure. Indeed, there's poor Spider-Man, trapped in this godforsaken toxic monstrosity. I'm sorry, Peter. With old pasta comes great instability.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me. (5/5) pic.twitter.com/6UcfRcN9tz

- Dinosaur Dracula (@DinosaurDracula) April 16, 2020

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