I shouldn’t have to choose between doing my job and putting my family at risk
After the school reopening announcement, I lay sleepless, moving between anger and tears. I still feel devastated and powerless and can do nothing to quiet these big emotions except put my thoughts into writing.
First, I will tell you why I am angry. I woke up prior to the announcement with just a sliver of optimism. I have not been a fan of this government's education policies. The last two years have seemed like the way a 16-year-old would govern. Come up with an idea, rush to implement it, watching it fail miserably and scrap it because it didn't work. Ummm ... licence plates anyone?
The optimism sprang from the idea that throughout this pandemic the government seemed to do a good job. Things seemed to be done fairly cautiously and even though the economy reopened faster than I would have done it, it seemed OK and we didn't see major spikes in cases. The Premier also continually said that he would not put children at risk. I believe the words he used in April were along the lines of not packing kids into overcrowded classrooms and that he would spare no expense to keep our kids safe. I expected a cautious return to school so we could see the impact this would have before reopening completely. Optimism screws me every time.
The government's own expert" report suggests that kids 10 and over transmit COVID-19 as efficiently as adults but we're treating Grade 4-8 exactly like 3-9 year olds. There will be limited ability to physically distance in junior and intermediate rooms because these classes don't have caps. Twenty-five would be a small class in these years and I can assure you classrooms are not that big. Even one metre of distancing is going to be hard, nevermind trying to keep kids apart during unstructured time. And masking them does not help fill me with confidence that my classroom won't become the source of an outbreak should someone get infected. The things we know about COVID-19 are that poor ventilation, crowded spaces and prolonged exposure are the perfect conditions for transmission. My classroom, check, check and check.
What kills me is the hypocrisy. For the last five months, and even the day before the announcement, the government message has been consistent, two metres apart," no large gatherings," masks." To accomplish this massive amounts of money would have needed to be poured into schools. Now the message changes because investing in public education does not fit into the Conservative ideology of privatization and starving public education to the point of failure.
More hypocrisy. In the last month, this government has made a few rather significant changes in education in the name of anti-racism, destreaming Grade 9 and ending suspensions in primary among them, yet there is so much about this plan" that leaves vulnerable populations out. My social media is already full of parents who know that this plan is doomed to fail and refuse to let their kids be part of the experiment. They have the resources to move to private school, set up pandemic pods with neighbours, or to sacrifice an income to school online. This isn't a choice that many marginalized people in this province have. Toronto released data showing that racialized people made up 83 per cent of COVID cases despite representing only 52 per cent of the population. They also lived in disproportionately poorer neighbourhoods. They won't have these same alternatives to in-person school and will continue to be infected.
And now the tears. I love teaching so much yet here we are. Today I feel like I have to choose between my life and my passion, between my ability to provide for my child or my choice to not orphan her. Maybe I am being dramatic. My mind takes me to the worst case scenario. Maybe I only get sick and have lasting damage to my body. Is that better than not dying? Do I now have to isolate myself from my extended family who are older, vulnerable and have underlying health conditions because I could be an asymptomatic carrier? No one should ever have to feel this way. This is why I cry. I see my role in the classroom as an important one. Every year, I feel like I get a little more attached to the kidlets in my class. I remember when I taught Grade 5 telling my class that I felt like their school mom" and now I can't protect them either. We are all part of the government's experiment.
I hope that whoever reads this does not accept the either or dichotomy that we've been presented with. This does not have to be a choice between participating in the experiment or not. It does not have to be a choice between paying for what the government won't personally by lost incomes to facilitate online school or fund another option or sending your kids into what is at best a risky idea and may well be the start of the second wave.
Nicolle Kuiper is an Ontario educator