'This year has made me feel, at times, that I look like a freak. What should I do for my head?' | Leading questions

It can be traumatic for women to lose their hair, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but your hair doesn't need to be a symbol of fragility

I had breast cancer in 2002. It came back a second time this year. I had a double mastectomy and chemo. I have had reconstructive surgery but expect more. It's been a rough year. Mostly I am proud of getting through all this. But I am concerned about my daughter's wedding, which is in six weeks.

I have a wig for Zoom calls, but it doesn't look great and it is not me. I bought it online; because of Covid I could not go to a wig shop. I have very little hair, a quarter inch, but you can still see my scalp. I don't know what to do for my head. Do I wear a wig that is hot and not me? Do I go with my own hair and look like a man with a crew cut, but wear it as a symbol of pride for a tough year? Do I wear a scarf that will hide my head but not the fact that I have no hair?