Covid has shown me what lies beyond boredom: post-boredom | Joel Golby

What are we going to do when all our former comforts induce juddering flashbacks to lockdown?

I have already started practising my small talk for Christmas. Good, thanks. You?" I keep saying into a mirror, fully aware that in the past eight months I have more or less completely lost the ability to make conversation with humans. What did I do with the time? Wow, the year has gone so quickly, hasn't it?"

At this point I pause meaningfully because I know I have about two minutes of material to stretch over a five-day festive period with fewer people than usual, so I really need to make it last. Let's see, umm ... got really into jigsaws for a bit. Rearranged the spare room into an office. Learned to make this one really good curry recipe from the BBC website. Uh ... got 11 solo wins and about 24 duo wins on Fortnite." Is that good?, they'll ask, and I'll have to admit that no, not particularly. It's a game for 12-year-olds that I play compulsively," I'll explain. Every day I log in and let adolescents embarrass me in an online world that allows them to dance joyously on the remains of my corpse." Oh, they'll say. I think there's something - I think there's something happening in the other room. I really ought to...