Boris Johnson has a text addiction and it’s bad news for all of us | Marina Hyde

The alleged Dominic Cummings leaks may just be a distraction from the bigger issue: we're led by a man with no self-discipline and a very busy phone

Incredible that Boris Johnson's craziest ex is not actually someone he's had sex with. When you think of the sheer volume of fatal attractions that must be stored in the prime minister's phone under decoy names like James Dyson" and Mohammed bin Salman", it seems extraordinary that the biggest bunny-boiler is alleged to be ex-spad Dominic Cummings.

Anyway, speaking of Fatal Attraction, you'll have seen the news that undead Cummings is rearing back out of the bath again like Glenn Close, except wearing trackie bums and a T-shirt reading My girlfriend - YES I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND - went to Los Alamos National Laboratory and all she got me was this lousy T-shirt".