In a catch 22 and not sure what to do
by jsbjsb001 from LinuxQuestions.org on (#5H7M1)
The purpose of this thread is to get some advice about how to get programming job, or failing that, an IT support/technican job (MUCH preferably Linux/Unix related rather than just some boring Windows related job on both counts). But first I'll explain my background and situation...
I've been interested in computers from a very young age, when most people here in Australia didn't even know what the internet was, let alone had it themselves. I grew up using MS-DOS and then Windows 3.0 through to XP (I have used higher versions on other people's computers), and even remember writing a website back in the early/mid 90's (I don't remember what the website was about, and it was just plain HTML code - no scripts of any kind) and even got paid for it too (I think I was still in primary school at the time - I do remember it was a money order they used to pay me for it). But basically there was some pretty horrible stuff that happened to me, without going into exact details, well, you can name a type of abuse and I can most probably say I've suffered it at some point in my life (physical, sexual, you name it), most of it as a child. I remember, and to cut a very long story short, I had to move out of "home" either just before I turned 18 or just before, because well, I'd be dead if I didn't - that's how bad it was. So for awhile after I moved out of "home" I was that messed up just trying to find a reason to even be alive was a struggle. That lasted for a number of years, and on and off too, to the point where even thinking about just trying to get a job, let alone be able to hold one down was virtually impossible - let alone getting, or holding down any "meaningful" job. It may sound funny, but I probably done more work as a kid than what I did in those years. Without telling my whole life story complete with every single detail, as that would take a lot more than just one forum post; I've had a lot of things happen that (I hope) most others would likely never have happen to them. Put it this way: if you knew every detail of I'm talking about there, you'd understand why I say that.
I kinda lost interest in computers when I was "lost" for a while there in those years after I moved out of "home". Nevertheless, around 2004 I went back to an "adult re-entry school" and was doing some courses there and it was actually one of the student counsellors there that suggested I do some IT related course. So I agreed to it, and whether it was that particular course or another one, it was being held in the same building as the school's network administrator's office is located in. He noticed that I had an interest in computers, and gave me a couple of CD's (yes CDs!) of what, from memory, was Ubuntu, and I think Kubuntu, and another Ubuntu knock-off as well (don't really remember exactly one it was though - maybe Xubuntu?). That was my first intro into Linux, as I didn't even know before then that Linux even existed - let alone anything about UNIX, etc. All I knew about/of was DOS, Windows and macOS and that was it. Then fast forward a few years, I joined this forum, and obviously have been using Linux ever since, moving to Linux exclusively sometime between 2010 and 2011. Although I had upgraded other computers, even as a kid, from memory, prior to building my first desktop PC in 2010/2011. And through coming here and learning even more (even stuff I haven't even tried to learn), and finally answering the questions I had ever since I was in primary school; "what actually happens behind the scenes that I can't see on the screen? How exactly would I write a program myself?", I've finally found the reason why I was interested computers. I realized that the reason I had those questions was because I like to know how things work. Therefore the answer; "well that's just how it works", just isn't satisfying enough to me, the morbid curiosity bugs me until I can find an answer to the question(s). Therefore I realized the answer to the question "what should I do for the rest of life?" was staring me in the face the whole time, ever since I was a young kid, but I just didn't see it for all of those years I was talking about above. But now I'm having to ask another question, well at least a couple of other questions to be precise; is it too late? Do I have any chance of getting out of this dump of a city I currently live in to have any hope at all for any kind future worth living? As quite honestly, I'd rather be dead than stay in this dump of a city for much longer, it is just way too depressing staying in my current environment. As far as I'm concerned, there wouldn't be any point in living without any kind of decent future. Mentally speaking, I don't honestly see how I can last even another two or three years in my current environment, let alone any longer than that.
I've tried doing a job just for the money at the end of it and it just didn't work out. Money alone just doesn't motivate me enough for it to be sustainable in the long run, as having interest in what I'm doing provides the meaning that is the only thing that does actually motivate me. Again, it's not about the money to me, I'd much rather do something that pays less that I actually have interest in, than do something I have zero interest in for more money - it's that simple. I've got over $1000 dollars in my savings account that I could withdraw and spend tomorrow if I wanted to, but I don't feel any need at all to spend it. I don't even really think about it, I hate going to shopping centers, the supermarket, etc, even when I do actually need to buy something. That's how little money means to me. I wouldn't have been able to learn even just the half of whatever I know about Linux if I had no interest it in, it's the same for employment, despite how much it might pay. Let alone all the stuff that's happened in later years to top it all off. If I had no interest in Linux or computers in general, I'd just use M$ Windows and put up with whatever BS M$ decides to throw at Windows users.
I was going to create a blog post advertising myself as being available for employment in the IT industry, either as a "junior" programmer or even IT support, but thought it was probably a good idea to get some advice first (I asked Jeremy if that would be ok and he said it was fine). I basically have no future where I currently live. You'd basically have a better chance of finding a needle in a haystack than finding pretty much any IT related employment where I live, as employers nearly always want someone who has at least two years paid IT experience. The long and short of it is: those same employers wouldn't care how much knowledge I have or haven't got, they would just skip my application in favor of someone else who can say they've got recent paid IT experience and I'd be rejected without even a phone interview - let alone would I get an in-person interview. If I were living in a bigger city here in Australia, like Sydney or Melbourne, then I might have a slightly better chance. But of course without employment, I don't have the money to up-root myself and move to a different city, so just moving to a different state, let alone another city isn't possible without employment. And not having your own transport and having to rely on a pissant public transport system only complicates things even further again. So I'm in a catch 22; I don't have the money to move, but I can't get any IT work unless I do move. It's as much for psychological reasons, as much as for employment related reasons that my only choice is to move (preferably and hopefully at least one day to another country altogether). So for both mental health and employment related reasons, it's just not going to be possible for me to stay in the city (or really the state and country) I currently live in for much longer.
Truth be known, even with all of the political and covid nonsense (both within and outside of LQ), covid related and other conspiracy theories/nonsense, covid related pro/anti vaxxer nonsense here, the recent influx of trolls to this site, this site remains one of the few sane places I have left to go to. But of course, now the iceing on the cake is, and because of covid, the [useless] Australian Government has closed the country's borders and I'm literally living in an open air prison. So now I may as well be living in a real prison, because other than the not having bars on the windows, I'm pretty much already there in every way imaginable.
My IT related qualifications and certifications:
I'm sorry for the long post, but I tried to condense everything as much as I could while still [hopefully] explaining [enough of] my background and situation, and I couldn't really make it much shorter while still properly explaining my situation. I've edited the draft I made of this post several times now, that I've intended to post since last week.
So I guess my main questions are; what should I do given all that I've said above? What exactly can I do?
Thank you in advance.
PS: I'm not looking for uninformed opinions about mental illness, ad hominems, or similar nonsense, so you need not respond in that case, and I will just ignore any such posts. I'm looking for informed, honest and practical advice concerning my situation, not debates or pissing contests. So please, no nonsense or smartass responses, or similar nonsense - just the adults here need respond, thank you.
I've been interested in computers from a very young age, when most people here in Australia didn't even know what the internet was, let alone had it themselves. I grew up using MS-DOS and then Windows 3.0 through to XP (I have used higher versions on other people's computers), and even remember writing a website back in the early/mid 90's (I don't remember what the website was about, and it was just plain HTML code - no scripts of any kind) and even got paid for it too (I think I was still in primary school at the time - I do remember it was a money order they used to pay me for it). But basically there was some pretty horrible stuff that happened to me, without going into exact details, well, you can name a type of abuse and I can most probably say I've suffered it at some point in my life (physical, sexual, you name it), most of it as a child. I remember, and to cut a very long story short, I had to move out of "home" either just before I turned 18 or just before, because well, I'd be dead if I didn't - that's how bad it was. So for awhile after I moved out of "home" I was that messed up just trying to find a reason to even be alive was a struggle. That lasted for a number of years, and on and off too, to the point where even thinking about just trying to get a job, let alone be able to hold one down was virtually impossible - let alone getting, or holding down any "meaningful" job. It may sound funny, but I probably done more work as a kid than what I did in those years. Without telling my whole life story complete with every single detail, as that would take a lot more than just one forum post; I've had a lot of things happen that (I hope) most others would likely never have happen to them. Put it this way: if you knew every detail of I'm talking about there, you'd understand why I say that.
I kinda lost interest in computers when I was "lost" for a while there in those years after I moved out of "home". Nevertheless, around 2004 I went back to an "adult re-entry school" and was doing some courses there and it was actually one of the student counsellors there that suggested I do some IT related course. So I agreed to it, and whether it was that particular course or another one, it was being held in the same building as the school's network administrator's office is located in. He noticed that I had an interest in computers, and gave me a couple of CD's (yes CDs!) of what, from memory, was Ubuntu, and I think Kubuntu, and another Ubuntu knock-off as well (don't really remember exactly one it was though - maybe Xubuntu?). That was my first intro into Linux, as I didn't even know before then that Linux even existed - let alone anything about UNIX, etc. All I knew about/of was DOS, Windows and macOS and that was it. Then fast forward a few years, I joined this forum, and obviously have been using Linux ever since, moving to Linux exclusively sometime between 2010 and 2011. Although I had upgraded other computers, even as a kid, from memory, prior to building my first desktop PC in 2010/2011. And through coming here and learning even more (even stuff I haven't even tried to learn), and finally answering the questions I had ever since I was in primary school; "what actually happens behind the scenes that I can't see on the screen? How exactly would I write a program myself?", I've finally found the reason why I was interested computers. I realized that the reason I had those questions was because I like to know how things work. Therefore the answer; "well that's just how it works", just isn't satisfying enough to me, the morbid curiosity bugs me until I can find an answer to the question(s). Therefore I realized the answer to the question "what should I do for the rest of life?" was staring me in the face the whole time, ever since I was a young kid, but I just didn't see it for all of those years I was talking about above. But now I'm having to ask another question, well at least a couple of other questions to be precise; is it too late? Do I have any chance of getting out of this dump of a city I currently live in to have any hope at all for any kind future worth living? As quite honestly, I'd rather be dead than stay in this dump of a city for much longer, it is just way too depressing staying in my current environment. As far as I'm concerned, there wouldn't be any point in living without any kind of decent future. Mentally speaking, I don't honestly see how I can last even another two or three years in my current environment, let alone any longer than that.
I've tried doing a job just for the money at the end of it and it just didn't work out. Money alone just doesn't motivate me enough for it to be sustainable in the long run, as having interest in what I'm doing provides the meaning that is the only thing that does actually motivate me. Again, it's not about the money to me, I'd much rather do something that pays less that I actually have interest in, than do something I have zero interest in for more money - it's that simple. I've got over $1000 dollars in my savings account that I could withdraw and spend tomorrow if I wanted to, but I don't feel any need at all to spend it. I don't even really think about it, I hate going to shopping centers, the supermarket, etc, even when I do actually need to buy something. That's how little money means to me. I wouldn't have been able to learn even just the half of whatever I know about Linux if I had no interest it in, it's the same for employment, despite how much it might pay. Let alone all the stuff that's happened in later years to top it all off. If I had no interest in Linux or computers in general, I'd just use M$ Windows and put up with whatever BS M$ decides to throw at Windows users.
I was going to create a blog post advertising myself as being available for employment in the IT industry, either as a "junior" programmer or even IT support, but thought it was probably a good idea to get some advice first (I asked Jeremy if that would be ok and he said it was fine). I basically have no future where I currently live. You'd basically have a better chance of finding a needle in a haystack than finding pretty much any IT related employment where I live, as employers nearly always want someone who has at least two years paid IT experience. The long and short of it is: those same employers wouldn't care how much knowledge I have or haven't got, they would just skip my application in favor of someone else who can say they've got recent paid IT experience and I'd be rejected without even a phone interview - let alone would I get an in-person interview. If I were living in a bigger city here in Australia, like Sydney or Melbourne, then I might have a slightly better chance. But of course without employment, I don't have the money to up-root myself and move to a different city, so just moving to a different state, let alone another city isn't possible without employment. And not having your own transport and having to rely on a pissant public transport system only complicates things even further again. So I'm in a catch 22; I don't have the money to move, but I can't get any IT work unless I do move. It's as much for psychological reasons, as much as for employment related reasons that my only choice is to move (preferably and hopefully at least one day to another country altogether). So for both mental health and employment related reasons, it's just not going to be possible for me to stay in the city (or really the state and country) I currently live in for much longer.
Truth be known, even with all of the political and covid nonsense (both within and outside of LQ), covid related and other conspiracy theories/nonsense, covid related pro/anti vaxxer nonsense here, the recent influx of trolls to this site, this site remains one of the few sane places I have left to go to. But of course, now the iceing on the cake is, and because of covid, the [useless] Australian Government has closed the country's borders and I'm literally living in an open air prison. So now I may as well be living in a real prison, because other than the not having bars on the windows, I'm pretty much already there in every way imaginable.
My IT related qualifications and certifications:
- Certificate 2 in Information Technology
- Certificate 3 in Information Technology (Software Applications)
- A+ IT Support Technician
- Certified Help Desk Analyst
I'm sorry for the long post, but I tried to condense everything as much as I could while still [hopefully] explaining [enough of] my background and situation, and I couldn't really make it much shorter while still properly explaining my situation. I've edited the draft I made of this post several times now, that I've intended to post since last week.
So I guess my main questions are; what should I do given all that I've said above? What exactly can I do?
Thank you in advance.
PS: I'm not looking for uninformed opinions about mental illness, ad hominems, or similar nonsense, so you need not respond in that case, and I will just ignore any such posts. I'm looking for informed, honest and practical advice concerning my situation, not debates or pissing contests. So please, no nonsense or smartass responses, or similar nonsense - just the adults here need respond, thank you.