I am living with my ex. Should we have some physical distance between us? | Leading questions

You can't move frictionlessly from being in a relationship to being close friends, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Something needs to change

I'm living with my ex-partner after mutually deciding to break up a few weeks ago. We rent a two-bed house and have a cat. The issue is my ex wants to stay in this living situation for the next few months and has no urgency to find alternative accommodation. I feel the urgency but don't know what to do and whether to move back with my parents or stick it out.

I feel this is very unhealthy and the ritualistic habits developed over time are still happening ... dinner, sleeping in the same bed, cleaning duties, shopping. Am I unrealistic in thinking that we should have some physical distance between us, or is this normal? I'm not sure what to do. It may sound selfish but I don't want to be the one with all the upheaval, especially as I have worked so hard to make this house a home.

Eleanor says: I think you already know this, but might want permission to really believe it: as a fairly firm rule, you can't move frictionlessly from being in a relationship to being close friends.