Twenty years later, the emotions of 9/11 remain raw

It has been 20 years since the tragic events of Sept. 11, 2001. We asked our readers to share their memories of that day, when they first heard the news. Here are their responses, in some cases edited for brevity.

John Black, St. Catharines: I wrote this on Dec. 31, 2001: My wife and I drove to Manhattan on Sept. 10, 2001, to stay overnight with friends who have an apartment there. They live not far south of the Empire State Building.

On Sept. 11 we get up at about 8:30. The husband has left for Rutgers. We are eating bagels when we hear a plane fly overhead, very loud and presumably very low. Shortly after that, our hostess's daughter phones from Canada to ask if we are all right and tells us about the plane hitting the first tower.

We turn on the TV and see the second tower hit by a plane. We then see it fall. We go out on street and, looking south, see people jumping out of the remaining tower, and then see the tower fall.

People are crying in the streets. We go into shock. Even as I write this, I still am unable to talk with people about the events of that morning without choking up."

It was several years later before I could discuss the event and not choke up. I now have some appreciation of the grim after-effects of shelling and bombing on civilians.

Diane Maves, Niagara Falls: It was a clear, quiet and calm morning. My husband was outside building a shed while I was watching Good Morning America.' The station cut to a shot of a plane hitting the World Trade Center.

I called out to my husband, but he didn't believe me. I screamed and he came running in. Our son was based (at Canadian Forces Base) Trenton; he had put in for his release in six months' time as he and his wife were expecting their first child.

We started calling him immediately, but there was no reply for three long, dark days. He was handed an M4 machine gun and told to guard a loaded F18 (fighter jet) and not to let anyone near it.

Our son changed that day, never to be the same again. I still get goosebumps when I see clips of that horrible day."

Don Foley, St. Catharines: I was on the way back home from Lewiston, N.Y.. with an American photographer colleague of mine to organize a photographic event in Niagara Falls, Ont.

As we crossed the border we heard on the news about the first plane crash into the World Trade Centre. We got into my house just in time to see on television the event taking place, and then saw the second plane hit the other tower.

We did not accomplish the work we had planned to get done. Our emotions were running high, needless to say."

Edith Wood, Welland: My husband and I were visiting our aunt and uncle in Medicine Hat, Alta., when her daughter-in-law called and told us to turn on the television. We were stunned and horrified to see what had happened. It was like watching a movie.

We were scheduled to fly out of Calgary that weekend. All planes were grounded, and we had to phone each day to see if our flight would depart as scheduled. We called the morning of our departure and were told that the flight was on.

When we got to the airport, we ordered a coffee and bagel and were given a spoon to spread our butter with. No knives or forks were available, due to 9/11.

Our flight was the only one departing that day. While passengers were boarding, you could hear a pin drop. Everyone I am sure was scared and praying that we would make it home safely.

I pray that this never happens again. We see the world falling apart on a daily basis - climate change, pandemic. We had a beautiful planet and are slowly destroying it."

Patricia Richard, St. Catharines: In an early meeting at work, coming out to hear a plane had hit the World Trade Center. Thinking I'll hear it on the news tonight, some little two-seater plane breaking some windows ...

Then hearing it was jets, watching the towers fall. I had been on a tour the year before in New York City and was told 10,000 people a day pass through them. Thinking, my God, 10,000 people or more are dead.

Disbelief, my stomach just falling. Thinking my kids are at school, maybe I should go get them and head north. Rumours were flying, they were going to hit the hydro plant in Niagara Falls.

Hearing the president on the news. Driving home later that day with my son from Hamilton after a soccer game on the nearly empty highway. Looking at the sky once I got home, realizing there are no planes in the sky."

Anita Minov, Niagara Falls: On that stunningly beautiful September morning, I was teaching my first period OAC senior English class at A.N. Myer Secondary School in Niagara Falls. The famous Canadian writer Margaret Laurence's powerful pacifist essay My Final Hour' was the subject at hand.

This was an address originally delivered at Trent University, where she spoke of being a sharer in life,' a steward of the Earth and how to live with positivity and hope in this post-nuclear age while giving hope to future generations. How very ironic, considering what was to transpire, almost immediately.

We'd only just finished our discussion of this essay when at the end of the class, the vice-principal made a solemn announcement over the PA about the shocking events occurring in New York, not so very far away.

You can imagine the disbelief and the stunned reaction of my students to this news. All was silent. Then a tentative hand was raised, and a frightened voice asked, Miss, is there going to be a war?'

In all my years of teaching, I'd never been asked such a question, and all I could answer was, I don't know.' Never had I felt a greater care or responsibility for these young people. As long as I live I will never forget that moment.

Everyone was directed to remain in place; other students and staff whose nearby classrooms did not have TV joined us, and that's where we remained, watching in disbelief as the horrific events of that day unfolded. School was not dismissed early that day, and perhaps it was for the best as we were able to face the unfolding situation all together.

In retrospect, the message of Laurence's essay is clear even today, where she stresses the resolve not to give up in the face of difficulties and disasters, and that as individuals it is important to join with others who believe in the strength of the human community and of life itself, to do all that we can.

Thinking back to 9/11, the concluding lines of her essay, a verse from Deuteronomy, Chapter 30, still resonate in my memory, and, hopefully, in that of my former students for whom I felt an awesome responsibility on that dreadful day 20 years ago: I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.'"

Michelle Atkinson, Niagara Falls: I'll never forget that morning. I was working the front desk at the Niagara Falls Review. My sister called me to say that a plane had crashed into one of the Twin Towers.

At that point, the front office wasn't aware what of what was happening. We then checked with the newsroom, and from that moment on we followed everything that was unfolding. It was so unreal.

I remember for the rest of the day, our phones were eerily quiet, and no customers entered the building.

We were all quite scared not knowing what was coming next. I remember wondering, should I call the school and pick up my son? On the drive home, there were very few cars on the road, except for police cars.

It was an awful time, and even after 20 years I'll never forget that day."

Karen Moncur, St. Catharines: I remember Sept. 11, 2001, as clear as if it were yesterday. I was news director and morning news anchor for the three radio stations in the white house at 12 Yates St. in St. Catharines, including CKTB and CHRE.

Following the 8:30 news, a few of us gathered in the newsroom to discuss what was happening that day. The TV in the room was showing The Today Show' on NBC. I recall noticing a shot of one of the World Trade Center towers with smoke coming out if it. The announcer said something about a small plane possibly crashing into it.

We gathered around the TV watching, not with any alarm, but with interest. About 15 minutes later, we witnessed the second plane crash into the south tower and then we knew this was deliberate and something horrible and unimaginable was happening.

The rest of the day is a blur of phone calls, interviews, research, constantly breaking news and disbelief, as we struggled to make sense of the incomprehensible and relay it to our listeners. Minutes turned into hours and a day that began for me at 4 a.m., ended around midnight when I finally got home and collapsed in tears, as the enormity of what had taken place flooded over me.

I visited Ground Zero in 2014 and walked around the 9/11 memorial, running my hands over the names of the dead engraved there, and thought about that terrible day, as I often do.

We were witness to the worst of humanity in the acts of the terrorists who took so many innocent lives, and to the best of humanity in the first responders who tried to save lives, with so many sacrificing their own in doing so.

I will never forget Sept. 11, 2001."

Amy Romeo, St. Catharines: In 2001, I was living in Toronto and working for the Education Quality and Accountability Office. On the morning of Sept. 11, I was in a conference call with school board directors from across the province.

A co-worker, who was responsible for making travel arrangements, quietly slipped into the meeting room and handed me a note that read, Flights canceled. US under attack." I had no idea what that meant.

As soon as the conference call ended, I went back to my office and found my team gathered in front of the small television in our manager's office. Everyone was in shock. Some were crying. It took me a few minutes to catch up, but I couldn't understand the who or the why to explain what was happening.

Since that horrible moment, I have followed the news much more closely. I read the newspaper every day and watch both local and national news programs every night. I'm still trying to make sense of such hate and violence."

Diane Phelps, Niagara Falls: I remember Sept. 11, 2001, well. I had the TV on another channel and my daughter said to put on CNN, as a plane had hit one of the World Trade Center towers.

While watching this, a second plane hit the other tower. I knew something terrible was happening. I was booked to fly to England on Sept. 14.

I made my trip (the first and last time) but not until Sunday. Will always remember Tuesday, Sept. 11. A couple of years later, I made a trip to Shanksville, Pa., to the spot where Flight 93 went down.

Out in the field stood an American flag, slowly waving in the wind. I will remember that moment forever."

Sarah Pawlak, Lewiston, N.Y.: As I drove to work in St. Catharines from Chippawa, I was struck by the perfect clarity of the late summer sky. The morning of that Sept. 11, 20 years ago, before I heard the terrible news, had an almost impossibly perfect sky. The drive to work had been so remarkably beautiful.

I also remember the deep sense of kinship that Canadians felt with our hurting American friends and neighbours.

My home church quickly organized a special prayer meeting to lift up survivors, families, the rescue effort ... but also for folks to share our connections with and concerns for family, friends and associates who lived and worked in the Big Apple, Washington, D.C., or flew frequently. Televisions were rolled into my workplace lunchroom to watch breaking news and, later, memorial services.

I remember feeling relieved that I had returned to work in Canada in January 2001, so I didn't have to navigate a commute made impossible by an unprecedented border shutdown. By December, I was visiting New York City with friends from New Jersey, one a survivor of that terrible day.

We sombrely visited the site of the World Trade Center, still a gaping wound in the heart of the city and the country.

Twenty years later, I write this on a nearly impossibly beautiful September day. The first day of school, after 18 months of unprecedented border closure, separations from family, friends, former neighbors. Again, New York City, has suffered as an epicentre of loss and there are gaping wounds in the heart of the city and the country.

We must all be traumatized by these past 18 months, yet we try to make the best of things, care for our loved ones, live.

Please don't forget the kinship that neighbours share across this just cracked open border: family, friends, former neighbours, classmates and colleagues. You are missed. We look forward to healing together, when the time is right.

Planned, anticipated reunions but also casually crossing paths while doing errands. Still neighbours, still friends, still kin."

Peggy Erwin, Chippawa: In September 2001, my husband and I took a lovely early fall road trip around Michigan. Agawa Canyon was beautiful and we stayed overnight in the Sault before crossing over to Michigan at 9 a.m. Sept. 11, 2001.

We were listening to CDs as we drove, so did not catch the news. We crossed by ferry to Mackinac Island and as we walked down the main street pulling our luggage, we noticed groups of people in the old hotels and thought 11 a.m. was pretty early to be partying. They were crowding around TVs. Weird, we thought. The girl checking us in was crying.

Are you having a bad day?' my husband asked. They crashed planes into the Twin Towers ... and there's still at least one plane flying around,' she cried. We asked, What's the Twin Towers?'

After a quick geography lesson and news update, we looked at each other, stunned. Is there any chance of them crashing a plane here? No? Well, that's one good thing.

We spent our next two days on the island, as planned, amidst crying staff, whispering patrons and an eerie silence. We headed to Frankenmuth and over lunch decided to cut the trip short and head home.

We crossed the border into Canada at Sarnia. At customs, there were no unusual questions or lineups. But the line into the States stretched for miles. Apparently, our border tightened up soon afterwards.

We got home and watched the news for hours and wondered what it would have been like to still be stranded in the United States."

Rosemary Bews, Fort Erie: We were flying home from Amsterdam after a two-week holiday. The pilot came on and told us what had happened and we were turning back to Amsterdam. We dumped most of our fuel in the North Sea.

We spent four days in Amsterdam with only our carry-on luggage. We had an interesting time and wondered if we would ever be home again. The Dutch people were very kind to us."

Angelina Tiberi, Welland: My memories of that tragic day began when I had an 8 a.m. shift at Walmart when it was part of Seaway Mall in Welland. I was a cashier. When I was cashing out a customer, I could tell that she was visibly upset and crying. She told me that a plane had crashed into one of the Twin Towers in New York.

I watched as the store associates and customers headed into the electronics department to watch everything unfold. I headed there as well. Flight 11 hit the north tower of the World Trade Center at 8:46 a.m. I thought it was perhaps an accident, maybe something happened to the pilot, until the second plane, Flight 175, crashed into the south tower at 9:03 a.m.

I realized this was intentional, the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil in American history.

This horrific terrorist attack has impacted my life since in that I try to be more aware of my surroundings and of others, especially when in a new or different environment. I don't let my guard down as easily as before."

Jim Diodati, Niagara Falls: Early that day, our first child, Olivia Marie, was born, before any of the planes crashed.

Later in the day, with her being a colicky baby, I was looking for a nurse or doctor to help calm her. Then we came to realize why we couldn't find anyone - they were all watching the events unfold on a TV.

I couldn't help but worry about the world that we had brought her into."

John Markiv, Fort Erie: My strongest memory of 9/11 was waking up in the morning and being called by a friend, he told me the U.S.A. was under attack. My reply was that it was nonsense, and didn't believe him.

For some reason I turned on the TV just in case, to see the first tower of the World Trade Centre burning and shortly after seeing a plane fly into second tower. In disbelief I called back my friend to tell him what I had just witnessed on TV.

For the rest of the day I would go online to see if anything more would happen. I live in south Fort Erie and we regularly see planes flying over our house into Buffalo or Niagara Falls airports, but the night of 9/11 and a for a few days after all planes were grounded and the air was quiet and almost eerie.

The border was closed and transport trucks lined the QEW for miles waiting to cross.

In years later my wife and I would join the 9/11 motorcycle ride to Pennsylvania, with all proceeds would go to 9/11 victims' families."

Kelly Murray, St. Catharines: On that day, I was looking forward to going to Florida with two special needs children with the Sunshine Foundation. There was a full planeload of us. Some were my colleagues from Niagara Children's Centre, with the children that were assigned to them.

There were people from the entire Niagara region on the plane as well as doctors and therapists. Our flight was chartered and was to leave around 7:30 a.m. but was slightly delayed. We took off for Orlando and made it safely.

When we landed, our guides told us Disney was closed. We thought they were joking, as we had an early and busy morning and no one was aware of anything.

Of course, there were no flights so we all were taken to a hotel (ironically, Radisson twin towers). We only had the clothes on our backs and medication for one extra day only for the children.

So much went on to get the kids their medicine. We had donations of clothing and hygienic needs for all of us. We ended up leaving Thursday afternoon.

I learned a lot in those two days: That special needs parents are amazing people; that you can't break people's spirit; and love is the most precious gift. That day was also my birthday. One I will never forget."

Stan de Jong, St. Catharines: Today, my wife and I have reached the age of the upper 80s, but 20 years ago we were more lively, being in the late 60s. On that day, we travelled from St. Catharines to Oakville to meet our daughter from Toronto and her son, who was then nearly two years old.

While I waited outside, my wife, our daughter and our little grandson were in a clothing store. Suddenly, our daughter rushed outside, saying, Dad, something terrible happened in New York!'

We rushed into a restaurant and saw people standing shell-shocked in front of a TV. What we saw was the result of the first plane hitting one of the World Trade Center towers. We were speechless, hardly able to communicate. All I remember is our daughter and us two wanted to go home.

Never will I forget that trip back to St. Catharines, listening to the radio in the car. When the second tower was hit, we trembled. We were thinking of the crews and passengers in the planes that were involved, and the people inside those towers. And we prayed.

Once home, it began to sink in that something terrible happened and that more devastation was about to occur. We all remembered what happened.

My wife and I are regular visitors to Happy Rolph's Animal Farm, on the shores of Lake Ontario in St. Catharines. We inevitably end up walking toward the Sept. 11, 2001, memorial next to the lake, the flag always in the half-mast position.

There is a stillness there. I've often walked on the path along the lake, looking at the many markers, all making brief statements of someone who died in the towers when they collapsed.

We both went through the Second World War in the Netherlands. Each Nov. 11, Remembrance Day, we are at the St. Catharines cenotaph to attend the moving ceremony there to remember the fallen. We will remember. On Sept. 11 each year, our devotional book reminds us of what happened on that fateful day in 2001.

We remember and we pray."

Georgia Hole, St. Catharines: I was a former employee of the St. Catharines Standard in the mailroom. We had just returned after break and a notice was handed around stating what had happened in New York.

First thoughts were that this was just a joke, it was hard to believe. Once the events were broadcast on TV, it became reality and the world changed forever that day."