My baby screeches like a banshee and my heart melts. What have I become? | Arwa Mahdawi

You know that previously sensible friend who now beams every time her perfect child farts? Reader, that's me

Uh oh, it has happened. I have officially turned into that person. You know who I mean: the adult who seems oblivious to the fact that their screeching infant is not the most adorable thing to crawl the face of this Earth but an out-of-control noise machine. That person is the previously sensible and self-aware friend of yours who beams every time their perfect progeny farts or grunts, and acts like it is the cutest thing they have ever seen. What happened to you?" I used to think, when I was childfree, and hung out with friends who had procreated. How do you not realise that your child is sort of annoying? What did parenthood do to your brain?"

I do not have the scientific answers to this but I can say that parenthood has undoubtedly done a number on my own brain. I have 100% been baby-pilled. My eight month old will be screeching like a banshee and, instead of finding it irritating, I will look at her perfect little face and my heart will melt. I find myself googling things such as: if my baby screams a lot at an unusually high decibel level, does it mean that they are gifted? (The jury is out on that but my kid is obviously brilliant).

Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist