Susan Clairmont: In memory of little Zachary — a family runs Hamilton’s Bay Race on the 25th anniversary of his death
The boy's tiny red mittens, lost for years in a box of old things, re-emerged like tulips this weekend. Just in time to be carried across the Around the Bay Race finish line.
The mitts were carried by the boy's mother, who has breathed life into his soul every day since he was murdered. And by the brother and sister who love him fiercely though they never met.
The mitts, the race, the family - dad Tony waiting at the finish line - all aligned to be a poignant tribute to two-year-old Zachary Antidormi on the 25th anniversary of his death.
It's been an eternity since I have seen Zachary," says his mom, Lori Triano-Antidormi. But we live by keeping him alive."
The golden-haired boy was stabbed on March 27, 1997. He was being pulled in a wagon by another child when he was attacked by his neighbour, Lucia Piovesan.
When Zachary died, Hamilton mourned. Then, as details emerged, our community began asking hard questions about how such a tragedy could happen. How had the mental health and justice systems failed Zachary?
Piovesan, who had schizophrenia, had been delusional and wreaking havoc on her neighbours for years. Police had been called many times. But each call had been dealt with as a singular incident. Nobody tracked patterns. Nobody saw the bigger picture.
Nobody recognized she was dangerous.
Zachary's murder is the reason we have the Crisis Outreach and Support Team - COAST - now, which teams specially trained plainclothes police officers with mental-health workers.
He is the reason Lori has dedicated her psychology practice to caring for victims of trauma and first responders.
While statistics show that few couples can withstand tragedy of the magnitude of Zachary's murder, Lori and Tony (a child and youth worker) went on to have Ethan, 23, and Abby, 20.
The siblings - who both say they are best friends - have grown up with sweet stories and memories of their older, yet forever young, brother. They have tattoos to honour him: Tigger resting on a moon, because Zachary loved Pooh's bouncy friend and because their parents always love them to the moon and back. A STOP sign, because Zachary dreamed of being a crossing-guard. A Z" with angel wings.
The death of their brother is both real and impossible to them.
I can't believe my parents went through that," says Abby, who is studying criminology and sociology at University of Toronto. When I wasn't even a thought yet."
I feel I know Zachary in a way."
Abby is considering a career in criminal law.
Marking the anniversary of Zachary's death with the race will feel like we're siblings, doing stuff together," says Abby.
Every day, Ethan has a chat" with his big brother: Hey Bro, thanks for looking out for me."
Ethan is doing his masters degree in occupational therapy at McMaster University, with a goal of working with children.
March 27 is always a tough day for the family says Ethan, so the race is an excellent opportunity to honour Zachary's life on a day that can be challenging. We can celebrate what he brought to the world - joy and positivity. A lot of charisma too."
It's a day to really cherish my family."
Lori has done The Bay before, raising money to support psychiatric programs at St. Joseph's Healthcare. But to do the 5K this year, holding hands with Ethan and Abby as they finished, was priceless.
Lori, knowing Ethan would forget to wear a hat for the race - a mother is always a mother - went searching through the old winter clothing box for one on Saturday.
She found the red mittens.
I kept them in my car where (Zachary) left them, until I sold the car," she said before the race. Then tucked them in the mitt box, which I did forget about."
We will carry them with us."
Susan Clairmont is a justice columnist at The Spectator. sclairmont@thespec.com