Why aren’t video games scary any more – am I just old and jaded? | Dominik Diamond

When you're young, you believe in the possibility of anything - ghosts, goblins, the Resident Evil house - but by my age, the spell is broken

My wife and kids have a tough time believing that I fear nothing supernatural. Because they do. They fear all of them. Ghosts, goblins, werewolves, wendigos, all that claptrap. I just don't. When they tell me that this is strange, considering I'm the only one of us who goes to mass every Sunday and literally eats the body and blood of a man who came back from the dead, I distract them by showing them my latest Day-Glo Virgin Mary statue which plays Ave Maria.

My youngest teen, Sharkie, gives me a list of her scariest games ever. Apparently one of them is bound to give me nightmares. I start with Resident Evil 7: Biohazard because everyone says it's terrifying and the original Resident Evil game did genuinely scare me, back in the days when I experienced fear. I am sorry to disappoint the legions of people who have needed underwear changes exploring that house, but for me the most frightening thing about it is that they are still using tape recorders as save points.