I’ve stopped trying to be the perfect mum, and it’s a huge relief | Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

We're told that motherhood is supposed to be your life's work. But the 360-degree model is bad for me and for my baby

Flashback to NCT, and I'm asking our course leader Alison about going to the loo: So you say that we are not supposed to leave them unattended, ever ... so how exactly do I, without putting too fine a point on it ... go to the toilet?"

I'm six months in now and have eventually learned that, sometimes, you need to let the baby cry so you can go to the toilet/make a cup of tea/shove a cold samosa in your mouth while you mourn your past life of nicely prepared little lunches. I used to feel guilty doing this. My husband going back to work at four months coincided with the baby suddenly needing constant entertainment, and I started to feel guilty about that too, because sometimes I would put him in the bouncer and read a book (my tight 10-minute set of politically correct nursery rhymes having fallen flat).