Sunak is a puzzling PM – the more you see of him, the less there appears to be | John Crace

His answers to the chairs of Commons select committees are robotic, as if from a meaningless management dashboard

Christmas must be a bundle of fun round the Sunaks'. 7am: 5km run. 8.30am: breakfast of granola with manuka honey. 9am: check against delivery to make sure all presents are under the tree. 10.30am: invite family to open presents. All members are to keep a profit and loss spreadsheet to make sure the presents they have received are more valuable than the ones they have given.

12pm: short Xmas lecture on the importance of winning. 12.30pm: all family members are to write a brief lessons-learned dashboard on the lecture. 2pm: lunch of organic turkey crown with no trimmings. 3pm: unfinished homework to be completed. 4-4.45pm: at leisure. No TV, console games or handheld devices. Children may read books if they want. 4.46pm: children and adults to write thank-you letters. 6.30pm: stop Alexa playing Ghost Town.