What is wokeness? A close shave with a 4x4 got me thinking | Zoe Williams

Drivers are cast as anti-woke and cyclists as the opposite, when the reality is often quite different. But I would have enjoyed an apology from the driver who turned suddenly into my cycle path

When I'm cycling with my 15-year-old, I like him to go in front so I can see him, and he likes me to go in front, so he doesn't have to make a judgment call about whether to overtake buses. We both like to spend the first five minutes of any journey arguing this point, to the extent that we lose any time advantage conferred by the bikes in the first place. On shorter journeys, it would definitely be quicker to walk. It's not a bad parable for the maternal experience: you worry about them and think of it as altruism, but to them, it looks like you are ferociously prioritising yourself, fuming, You go in front, you nitwit", before eventually surrendering. This is why people can't stand their mothers, then feel bad about it. This is what keeps psychoanalysts in business, and also Moonpig.

Yesterday there was an additional complication in that we only had three lights between us, so we were also arguing about who would get the only front light. His position was that I should have it, being the one in front, and mine was that he should, being the next and more precious generation. I actually won that round, more fool me.

Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist