Loneliness is awful – so every day I try to start a conversation with a stranger | Adrian Chiles

For years I have been recognised off the telly, and it has been easy to meet new people. But a memorable party reminded me of why it pays to work at the art of conversation

I enjoy having conversations like, you know, face-to-face, in person. Or just on the phone will do. Weird, I know. I'm assuming analogue chit-chat is dying out, as the rise of AI means we'll have to get used to talking to computers. Already, many of the face-to-face conversations we are having were initiated via them. For example, I had a young male colleague, a good-looking and confident rascal. Even though, as far as I could see, he was enjoying conspicuous success with his Tinder dating, he bemoaned the march of technology. He said he'd often approach a woman in a bar, only to be told that she was waiting for a Tinder date. The game's over," he said sadly. Tellingly, in relating this, it strikes me that approaching somebody unbidden to talk to them might now come across as dodgier than meeting a stranger you've found on the internet.

Whether you're dating or not, the knack of starting conversations is at least as important - and challenging - as the art of conversation itself. The talking is the easy bit. It helps no end, of course, if you're interested in other people, in which case you'll generally bring yourself and others pleasure by asking them about themselves. If you're more interested in yourself than anyone else, then that can be straightforward, too - just rattle on about your own brilliance and either turn a blind eye to any yawning or glazing over, or move on to your next victim. This is all set out nicely in Dale Carnegie's famous/infamous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. Show interest in others" being his key point. I read it as a teenager and it made a huge impression on me - so much so that I gave it to a close friend of mine to read. His critique was exactly as follows: This is all very well if you're interested in other people, but I'm not really." So that was that.

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist