‘It took almost three years and a police charge before I recognised I was being stalked’

Stalking can be an all-encompassing trauma, but our lack of understanding about it undermines victim-survivors

My husband and I had only been dating a few months when a stalker changed our lives. The moment remains crystalised in my mind. We'd spent the day with family and friends, and were encompassed by the sort of dopamine-fuelled joy new love brings. We were almost ready to call it a night when I heard a Facebook message request come through.

Absentmindedly, I glanced at my phone, and saw there was a message request. Immediately the account didn't ring true - there was no profile photo, the name clearly fake. Reading the cruel and vulgar words, I reeled. Profane and crass, the sender's rage was unmistakable. Within minutes, three more messages came through. All similar in nature.