For better or for worse: is the decline in marriage actually good for relationships? | Devorah Baum

While some countries turn marriage into a patriotic act, it might just give us a radical new way to live our lives

One of the curious things about marriage is the role it's played in embedding commonly held views about normality. Married people are generally considered normal people. As such, they have possessed inordinate power to dictate the terms of normality in a way that single people rarely can. And yet marriage, clearly, isn't for everyone. Plenty of people have no desire to do it. Plenty of others have done it and haven't liked it. The stats only corroborate this. Fewer people over the years have been getting married, while the stresses and strains of lockdown in 2020 (along with the temporary closure of venues) saw divorces in England and Wales overtake weddings for the first time.

Not everyone, however, is taking marriage's declining popularity lying down. At the recent National Conservatism conference, delegates were promised a national revival founded on faith, family and flag". Likewise, China has just proposed a list of measures to actively encourage its young women to marry and have children (and not just one child any more: three, ideally). This is a national policy, but it's one with global benefits: to stem the threat of economic stagnation, growing the population is supposed to ensure the continuity of a huge, and therefore cheap, labour force. In other words, unless more Chinese women have more children, we'll all have to pay more for our merch - with matrimony here (never mind that not everyone who marries has children and not everyone who has children gets married) still framed by national governments as the gateway to maternity first of all. Other countries may well follow China's lead. In Japan, where they've just recorded a seventh consecutive year of declining birthrates, and fewer couplings, the government is accused of failing to act quickly enough to mitigate the effects of a rapidly ageing population.

Devorah Baum is associate professor of English literature at the University of Southampton and the author of On Marriage