Maintaining close ties with a former partner’s family is a worthy choice, but you don’t have to ‘fix’ everything | Gaynor Parkin and Erika Clarry

It's often healthier to embrace the possibility of a new family dynamic and let go of punishing old patterns

After several years of trying to salvage her long relationship with Rosa through couple's counselling and other efforts, Kara eventually made the difficult decision to end it. After the separation, Kara found herself estranged and isolated from Rosa's extended family, whom she had shared close ties with for more than 30 years.

The enduring pain of being excluded from family gatherings and communications made her wonder if she was being punished for her choice to leave. Caught in a constant struggle, Kara oscillated between attempts to reconnect and repair, or avoidance because the rejections were far too painful.