It’s never OK to look at your phone in church – unless you’re checking the score | Adrian Chiles

Even cardinals can get distracted in the closing stages of a close football match ...

I'm often oblivious to what is going on in front of me, but there are certain situations in which I miss nothing, such as when I'm giving any kind of speech. If but one person in the audience yawns, or in any way suggests they're not paying attention, I see it. And it's a dagger to my heart. This is why I always found presenting to millions on live television a lot easier than addressing even just a couple of dozen people in the flesh. Why, this very evening I am to give a speech to a gathering of dentists in Chislehurst, south-east London. Don't ask. Just be assured, I am terrified. And I'll be watching them like hawks.

A couple of Sundays ago I was addressing 500 Christians, and I'm delighted to say that they seemed to stay with me throughout. Well, 499 of them did. One didn't. The offender was a gentleman in his 70s in the front row. This was an event celebrating the connection between football and Christianity, so the shirt was acceptable. What I couldn't quite accept was that this chap never took his eyes off his phone, anxiously scrolling and refreshing for all he was worth. But distracting as his distraction was for me, I had to keep my annoyance in check because the gentleman in question was a cardinal.

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster, writer and Guardian columnist