YouTube’s video games are almost impossible to find – but once you do, you’ll wish you never looked | Dominik Diamond

After a labyrinth of menus as intuitive as dadaist poetry, players are rewarded with knockoffs of decades-old games too maliciously bad to have been designed by AI

I am trying out YouTube Premium's games, but I can't find them. I assumed I would boot up the app and there would be a big red button saying GAMES ... but no. I have to sign up to PREMIUM. Then find the YOUR PREMIUM BENEFITS section. Then find EXPERIMENTAL FEATURES and select TRY EXPERIMENTAL FEATURES. Then find the TRY GAMES ON YOUTUBE part therein and tap on TRY IT OUT. There is an EXPLORE tab and a SEARCH tab just to make things as intuitive as dadaist poetry. I go through more menus than an entire series of Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. It was quicker to load up and play Lords of Midnight on the ZX Spectrum.

When I find it, the GAMING section contains not games but a fetid hellscape of people alternately mumbling or shouting over video game playing. These must be those Content Creators. They're all torturous. I am sure they play these videos to those inmates at Guantanamo Bay who they can't break with Metallica songs. How many prisoners must have finally cracked while watching I DID THIS IN ZELDA AND MY NOSE FELL OFF FOR LOLZ by CoolRizz23.