The royals bring on their B team, captained by Prince Andrew. No wonder some fans think it’s all over | Marina Hyde

With details scant about the Princess of Wales's health, diehard royalists are losing their minds. Into the vacuum steps Andy

Say what you will about King Charles's previously fanfared vision for a slimmed-down monarchy", its injury woes suggest it could do with buying another striker. If that isn't how it works, then it's clear that despite thinking they are the greatest fans in the world, many diehard royalists are simply not happy with what they're seeing out there on the pitch, and are voicing their increasingly hysterical discontent. The king's cancer treatment and the Princess of Wales's convalescence from abdominal surgery have come at the same time, and social media is awash with the type of bizarre and brutal conspiracy theories in which so many of the #BeKind contingent specialise. Traditional media is trying to lose its mind with dignity, and - as so often before - tragically failing.

The royal family itself is playing its second team, the implications of that perhaps most eye-catchingly laid bare at this week's memorial service for the former king of Greece. As Constantine's godson, Prince William had been scheduled to do a reading, but pulled out at the very last minute due to a personal matter". So, bring on the U-70 Bs.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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