Baby Reindeer and how a compelling TV drama reflects the stalkers in us all | Eva Wiseman

Raised as we now are on social media and true crime, we need to fight the impulse to always find out more

If you haven't yet watched Baby Reindeer, a story that begins with its star Richard Gadd's experience with a stalker, you probably have a good reason. It will not be because, for instance, nobody has recommended it, told you how extraordinary it is, or powerful, or unique, and it won't be because you haven't heard of it - its success has been startling (as I type it's at the top of Netflix's UK and US charts weeks after its release) and its themes have made headlines. It could be, as is the case with a friend of mine, that its subject matter hits too close to home, and however unsettling it is for me to watch, for them the prospect feels like it might pull a thread and unravel everything, not least the damage caused by police failures, but we'll come to that.

Despite Gadd's nuanced portrayal of the woman who stalked him, and his beautifully strange story of love and trauma, some fans of the show quickly created a horrible sort of sequel when they attempted to expose the stalker on social media. Historic tweets were urgently screengrabbed, photographs posted side by side, she was quote-tweeted as if a celebrity - the character's name was trending for days. On Instagram, Gadd urged them to stop. Please don't speculate on who any of the real-life people could be. That's not the point of our show."