Lights, cameras, Farage: Nige just couldn’t bear to be left out | John Crace

These are the moments he lives for - right at the centre of things, all stardust and no responsibility

Alas, poor Dicky, I knew him well. Richard Tice and Nigel Farage had already given two press conferences in the previous week. Both times they had been given equal billing. Even though everyone but Dicky T knew who the real star was. On Monday all pretence had been pushed aside. Out came the op note. Nigel Farage was to make an emergency election announcement". Tice wasn't even mentioned as an afterthought. Even though he was probably paying for the pleasure.

Dicky was determined not to be left out, though. The man with no charisma or personal warmth relegated once more to Nige's warm-up act. The man on the downward trajectory. Soon he will be relegated to doorman. I'm not sure if Tice even convinces himself. His patter is all third-rate Farage. The sort of thing you might get if you typed write me a bad Nigel speech" into ChatGPT. Reform was moving into eighth gear", he said. Really? Some of us were losing the will to live.