So Donald chatted with Elon, and here’s the future as they see it – losers win, incompetence rules | Marina Hyde

Both claim they are part of a bright new dawn, but last night the politician could only slur inanities, and the tech boss made a hash of the tech

Would you like to travel in the advance party to Mars, aboard the space rocket of a man who can't sort a livestream? Ideally you would have to get in line for this species-level honour behind thousands of Earth's leading shitposters, who not only trust implicitly in X owner Elon Musk, but truly believe that if they grind away for hours a day telling him that on his platform, one day he will see one of those posts. I hope he does, guys!

In the meantime, my favourite recent headline on this interplanetary settlement programme ran Elon Musk denies his sperm will seed Mars colony". Sure. It's just a hunch, but I feel like they're going to have way more sperm than they need up there. It's the other bit necessary for human life that you sense will be in shorter supply.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist