I’ve finally got round to fixing up my house – and it’s given me a radical idea | Nell Frizzell

All the jobs I wanted to do - from fixing the tap to replacing the shower curtain - are done. Why? Because of the terrifying prospect of strangers coming to look at it

Here is a short and by no means comprehensive list of things that have been at the bottom of my fruit bowl for about a year: two screwdrivers, a small plastic Pikachu, four marbles, the inner mechanism of a door handle, a drawing of a clown, an unidentified key, the receipt for our wedding wine and a pipe cleaner. Today, after at least 12 months of wishing someone would rid me of this troublesome shrapnel, I finally cleared out the bowl.

Why? An attack of efficiency? Is someone's grandma coming to stay? Have I discovered a wealth of spare time? No. We are trying to sell our house.