This App Helps Me Keep My House Clean (Without Stressing Me Out)

I've always had trouble with daily, weekly, and monthly cleaning routines because they are based on an arbitrary standard instead of my real life. When a friend told me about the Tody app months ago, I thought it would be more of the same. Instead, after some upfront work of choosing the zones and tasks that matter to me (and setting low expectations), I found that I have been able to change my attitude about housekeeping.

Traditional cleaning routines often set us up for failure by ignoring the realities of our individual needs and energy levels. According to the daily and weekly cleaning tasks recommended by Good Housekeeping, I should spend a minimum of five hours a week on chores. For some, that is probably no problem. For me, it is insurmountable. Despite my initial skepticism, using the Tody app allowed me to create a realistic, low-pressure system for housekeeping that reduced my stress and made housework more approachable.

The pitfalls of traditional cleaning routines

My personal roadblocks to keeping a perfectly tidy house include having two small children, a handful of chronic illnesses, a career, and a fiery bitterness about the patriarchal standards that trained me to believe my value depends on how clean my baseboards are.

As I was the only one in the household with my self-worth tied to housekeeping, I was often the only person motivated to take action. When my body and mind had no energy left for action, I isolated myself in zones of the home that I felt I could control easily, like my office or bed. When I was introduced to the Tody app by a friend, though, I found that it emphasizes flexibility and allows users to build their own zones" and task schedules, so finally, only my own expectations mattered.

My favorite features of the app

• Customization. Before you use the Tody app, it pays to take your time setting up what rooms and chores you care about and how frequently they should be repeated. The app makes it pretty easy with preset rooms and tasks that you can activate or ignore. You can also choose what level of effort to assign to each task based on your feelings and abilities. Add only the rooms and tasks that are relevant to your household, and add custom tasks as needed.

• Priorities. After you initially set up your household needs in Tody, the app prioritizes your task list. That means doing the top few tasks scores you big points and help you feel accomplished.

• Gamify it. Choose whether you want to compete with Dusty, the resident boss, and choose your difficulty level. (I always have it set to easy because I need the confidence boost.)

• Check your attitude. You can also choose from three attitudes": relaxed, average, or proactive. I have stuck with the relaxed setting so I never see so many tasks I get paralyzed by overwhelm. The relaxed setting also means tasks are due to be repeated less frequently.

• Focus time. Use the focus timer to challenge yourself to complete certain tasks in one session

• Take a break. You can pause tasks that you know you won't get to because of life, illness, vacation, or whatever else. Undoable tasks don't have to sit at the top of your list, mocking you.

As I used Tody for weeks and then months, tasks became more about maintenance than perfection, lowering the pressure to meet external standards. I may have a list of outstanding tasks, but the top one is the most overdue and will be the most rewarding to complete.

It also helped me better judge what tasks to delegate or ask for help from my husband and children. If sweeping the porch and sidewalk is 30 days overdue (see authentic screen grab above) because temps have only just dropped below the 90s, getting everyone out in the yard to help will feel like a big win for me and the family.

Tody also helped me realize I needed more help. It made it easier to communicate to my husband and children when I was falling behind.

One thing Tody did not-and could not-do is make it possible for one middle-aged woman to perfectly care for a 3,000-square-foot house inhabited by four people and two cats. My husband and kids do their share, and I mark their tasks off in my app.

Results and benefits of using Tody

• Lower stress: Instead of feeling nagged by an endless list that I was always falling further behind on, the app helped me feel in control.

• A tidier home: It took time and adjustments, but now there is a noticeable difference in how clean and maintained my home feels.

• Focused approach: With clear direction on which tasks are most essential, I no longer feel the urge to hide" from chores.

• Decoupling my self-esteem from chores. Tody is not personally calling me out for falling behind on my task list. And it's not just my list-it belongs to my whole family, and I no longer feel like a failure who is 100% responsible for our domestic needs.

Tody worked because it allowed me to adapt a cleaning routine that suits our life and lowered the mental load of maintaining our home.

The free version of Tody (what I use) is ad-free, and has all the functionality I've described above. Starting at $9.99/year, you can use the premium version to sync with multiple people, set up other households, and further customize the look of your app.