Forget Risk, play Fantasy Football for Fascists: grudge matches, foul play and violent conduct guaranteed | Simon Tisdall

Leading FFF teams include Donald Trump's Mad Angry Geezers Athletic (Maga) and Vladimir Putin's Greater Russia United (GRU)

It's been a gloomy old year, often reflected in this space - so maybe it's time to inject some festive cheer with an exciting new Swiftian parlour game: Fantasy Football for Fascists (FFF). Ideal for dictators, autocrats, strongmen, neo-Stalinists, far-right nationalist-populists or just students of geopolitics, it's fanatical fun for all the family!

Under conventional fantasy football rules, imaginary teams are composed of real-life players from the Premier League. In FFF, the principal players are typically politicians and public figures who exhibit extreme totalitarian tendencies. Leading FFF teams include Donald Trump's Mad Angry Geezers Athletic (Maga) and Vladimir Putin's Greater Russia United (GRU). China has the Xi XI.