My petty gripe: don’t ask what my plans are, my New Year’s Eve is none of your business

Maybe I'm climbing Mount Everest with Greta Thunberg or holding a vigil for a pet slug, but I am never answering this question honestly

Some people feel compelled to ride bikes, others mandated to hit the gym. Me? A compulsion to tell myself that I suck to be around.

I'm not going to stand here and say that self-hatred is unique to me. It's just that it isn't, until the last week of the year that I don't feel entirely mawkish for admitting it. When I feel that others share my self-loathing, if only briefly. When a simple question leaves even the most lovable Lotharios spinning dark webs of utter BS.